Going Under
by GenkaMitsukai
Summary: What listening to Evanescence does to my mind... :'


sigh This started out with my listening to Evanescence. It's all her fault I'm feeling all angsty. I was thinking about this loved yaoi pairing between Sasuke and Naruto and I thought about that curse mark on Sasuke and Orochimaru and this (horribly horribly sloppy) songfic came out.

Disclaimer: If I owned them, they'd be together already..Puhlease….and I get absolutely ZERO profit from this

And if you don't like yaoi pairings and angst, don't read! It's not like I can magically freeze my fic on your computer or anything…jeeze…I can't force you read either.

Going Under – Evanescence

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_**Now I will tell you what I've done for you  
50 thousand tears I've cried  
**_

Naruto sat in his room, the CD player blasting. Sasuke didn't care. He knew he never would.

_**Screaming Deceiving and Bleeding for you  
And you still won't hear me  
**_

He couldn't stop the rush or memories that flooded his mind, they refused to leave him in his misery.

_**I'm going under  
**_

That time he had come up behind Sasuke—the bastard hadn't seen it coming—and glomped him to the ground, insisting that they hang out. Sasuke had agreed, and they had strolled off hand in hand to the park.

"_Sasuke, how do you really feel about me?" I had asked._

"_I love you…even though you're a complete idiot sometimes. It just makes you so cute."_

"_Sasuke…I love you too." I hadn't expected that from him. I had expected him to tell me how stupidly annoying I was and that he never wanted to see me again. I thought he was only there because he felt pity for me. My heart had jumped up to my throat and it beat so loudly I thought Sasuke would have heard it and commented. _

"_I know." He said before taking my other hand and pulling me in for a kiss._

_**Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself  
Maybe I'll wake up for once**_

_The day after that, all of team 7 had been doing some light sparring and chakra practice not really including Kakashi-sensei, who had taken the time to take a nap as his students practiced. Sakura had come up to him and asked him if he wanted to spar with her. I had agreed but knew inside that I couldn't very well beat the girl up. I knew I could but she didn't know that._

"_Naruto! Pay attention. Sakura'll beat you up." Sasuke called out to me. I glanced over at him just long enough to lose my focus and it cost because I looked back in time to see a punch before it hit my nose. I had seen stars and green and blurs of black and gray…then pink and red. I woke up in my own bed the next day with a bandage over my nose and a painful throb in it. I got up and saw a note taped to my TV set. The handwriting was semi messy and had an 'I-don't-really-care-how-I-write-so-fuck-off' aura about it. Sasuke's handwriting. I was sure of it. _

_Naruto,_

_You idiot! How'd you get yourself beaten up by a girl? And Sakura of all people? I know you're better than that! If you can't be…I swear….._

_Sasuke._

_I had looked at the note mildly confused and didn't know what it meant. Well now I do, but I was naïve enough to believe that that was how he showed that he cared._ _  
_

_**Not tormented daily defeated by you  
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom  
**_

"_Please Naruto. Don't leave me for this. I don't want to but I need his power to beat my brother. Please believe I don't want this." He had said as he held a kunai knife to my neck. His hand was shivering slightly and I could feel the blades start to press in._

"_If you don't want to then don't. I thought you were that smart." I answered him, keeping my face emotionless. He had after all attacked me, not saying a word to me, his eyes completely empty. _

_**I'm dying again**_

The damned memories wouldn't leave. The tears came now. He couldn't stop them. He hugged his knees to his chest, effectively hiding his tears and soaking the orange button up's sleeves and the knees of his tight emo jeans. He had traded in the bright orange outfit for something a bit less bright and a bit better looking.

_**Going Under**_

_**Drowning in you  
I'm falling forever  
I've got to break through  
I'm going under**_

I got up and wiped the tears away. I walked to my closet door and opened it, pulling out a dark blue button up and a lighter pair of tight jeans. I changed into them and tossed the soaked clothing into the hamper by the door on the inside. No use getting a cold. I threw myself onto my bed, feeling the black silk sheets under my hands. He had left them behind. A cruel reminder that he had even been there in the first place. I can't just forget about him.

_**Blurring and Stirring the truth and the lies**_

_**So I don't know what's real and what's not**_

I woke up this morning from an amazing dream. I almost thought it was real. Sasuke came back to me after breaking my heart a thousand ways. He had gotten over his need to get revenge. He had left Orochimaru for me. But of course it was a dream. Waking up to this cruel reality this morning was almost more than I could take.

_**  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head  
So I can't trust myself anymore  
I'm dying again**_

Why? My mind didn't comprehend the name of revenge and allow me to believe it was something someone I love so dearly would be willing to do. I hadn't come to terms with the fact that he was gone. I wanted to believe he was still here and this was just some nightmare I'd wake up from anytime soon. How much pain exactly did it take to wake someone up from a dream? A crazy grin on my face, I dashed from the room and threw myself over the staircase, watching the floor come up to meet me. I closed my eyes and waited for the sweet relief of being awoken from this nightmare. Instead, I fell with a harsh **thwuomp** on the hardwood flooring below. Ouch. What possessed me to do that? I groaned as I picked my self up, a headache filling my head and making my ears ring harshly. Ouch.

**_  
I'm going under  
Drowning in you  
I'm falling forever  
I've got to break through_**

My head swam as I stumbled into the kitchen for a couple of Tylenol and maybe a few Aspirin as well. Sasuke would have found that stunt absolutely hilarious. Maybe if he didn't know the reasoning behind it. Maybe. I wouldn't pull a prank on Gaara, I wouldn't kiss a camel, and I wouldn't wear a skimpy piece of women's lingerie in public. But I'd do all three of those things to hear his laugh again.

_**  
So go on and scream  
Scream at me**_

"_Naruto.." he started. The kunai blade was pressed against my neck yet again, about two hours after our fight had begun. "I hate you."_

"_W-what? Sasuke? Wh-why….where'd…" I was speechless. What was I supposed to say to that? _

"_It was a part of Orochimaru's plan. I had to pretend to be in love with you. I had to get to you to steal the Kyuubi's power. My master wanted it. Since I'm his favorite, he let me do the mission. I'll drain and kill you nice and fast. End your misery."_

_I looked up at him. This was what Sasuke had become? "No Sasuke. I won't let you. I don't know if you care or not but I still love you. That won't change no matter what you do to me." I said as I pushed him back gently and taking the kunai from him. _

_**I'm so far away  
I won't be broken again**_

"_I'm not that easy to beat. You should know that by now. I thought you were strong Sasuke. Strength isn't measured in physical ability. It's the strength of the heart. I thought you knew that. I thought you were strong Sasuke. I was wrong. You're too blinded by your bloodlust to understand it." _

"_Shut up Naruto!" he yelled pushing me back into the base of the tree and cutting a deep gash on my chest. I held back a cry of pain and only winced. "You say I'm so bloodthirsty. Scream. Feed my need."_

_I shook my head and he backed off looking shocked. "I won't submit to you." He turned and disappeared in a puff of smoke. The transportation jutsu._

_**  
I've got to breathe**_

_**I can't keep going under**_

I shook my head and took the pills. After that I went to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. My hair had grown out a few inches. I had grown a bit taller and had been losing weight lately. Now I was tall and lanky. My face had matured a bit; it wasn't so round anymore but had become, according to the female population, handsome. The whisker marks remained but they were a bit higher on my cheekbones. My sky blue eyes had deepened to a slightly darker color. It had been exactly three years since he'd left me. I again shook my head to rid it of thoughts of Sasuke and turned on the faucet. I washed my face with cold water to hopefully rid it of the redness and puffiness of my eyes. I dried off and slowly walked downstairs to compose myself. I grabbed a light jacket and opened the front door.

'Time for the old façade.' I thought as I glued a grin on my face.

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So how was that? It was my very first angst fic…tell me what I should fix pretty please! If I get enough reviews I'll make a second chapter! I hope my writing is good enough for you to want one….


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